George W. Bush’s Top Ten Solutions for Global Warming

10)  NASA MISSION TO TURN DOWN THE SUN’S THERMOSTAT
9)    FEDERAL SUBSIDIES TO BOOST PRODUCTION OF COOL RANCH DORITOS
8)    FAST TRACK RUMSFELD’S "COLONIZE NEPTUNE" PROPOSAL
7)    CONVENE BLUE-RIBBON COMMITTEE TO EXPLORE INNOVATIVE WAYS OF IGNORING THE PROBLEM
6)     LET HILLARY WORRY ABOUT IT WHEN SHE TAKES OVER
5)     I DUNNO–TAX CUTS FOR THE RICH?
4)     GIVE THE BOYS AT HALLIBURTON $90-BILLION CONTRACT TO PATCH HOLE IN OZONE
3)     SWITCH TO CELSIUS SO SCORCHING 98 DEGREES BECOMES FROSTY 37
2)      KEEP PLENTY OF BUD ON ICE
1)      INVADE ANTARCTICA

from David Letterman and his writers–7/25/05