Sometimes a Headline Is Enough

BIN LADEN TRIED TO WARN BUSH ABOUT KATRINA

In Newly Released Teleconference,
Madman
Expressed Concern About Levees

(see the full story from Andy Borowitz, below the virtual fold)

A newly released video of a teleconference between President George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden that took place in the hours before Hurricane Katrina hit reveals that the al Qaeda terror mastermind attempted to warn the President that the levees in New Orleans could be breached in the event of a powerful storm.

The video, which was broadcast today on the Arabic-language television network Al Jazeera, appears to be the most stunning evidence to date that the President was warned about the vulnerability of the levees but remained unconcerned nevertheless.

During the teleconference, Mr. bin Laden, who appears to be speaking from a cave, warns the President that the full force of Katrina’s fury could breach the levees, adding, “It is important that those levees remain intact, because I would like to breach them myself at a later date.”

Throughout the videotaped session, however, the President seems unconcerned both about Katrina’s potentially catastrophic impact on the levees and Mr. bin Laden’s implied threat to destroy the levees himself.

“What’s most striking about the tape is that Mr. Bush never asks bin Laden any questions, including, where exactly are you calling from?” an Al Jazeera executive said.

At the White House today, Mr. Bush downplayed his contact with Mr. bin Laden, telling reporters that he “barely knew” the al Qaeda madman.

“I know him even less well than I know Jack Abramoff,” the President said.

Elsewhere, in an ominous sign that Iraq may be sliding into civil war, Ken Burns and his camera crew turned up in Baghdad today.

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