WASHINGTON—In an unexpected reversal that environmentalists and
scientists worldwide are calling groundbreaking, President George W.
Bush, for the first time in his political career, openly admitted to
the existence of carbon dioxide following the release of the new U.N.
Global Environment Outlook this October.
"Carbon dioxide, a molecule which contains one atom of carbon bonded
with two atoms of oxygen, is a naturally occurring colorless gas
exhaled by humans and metabolized, in turn, by plants," Bush told a
stunned White House press corps. "As a leading industrialized nation,
we can no longer afford to ignore the growing consensus of so many
experts whose job it is to study our atmosphere. Carbon dioxide is
(h/t: the Onion)