The one-liners of election night 2012 (mostly comedy)

Seems like we've been hearing a lot of pissing and moaning about the horribleness of the election season; well, now that it's over and the President and a lot of other decent people have carried the day, may I confess that I've rather enjoyed it? 

Here are just some of the lines of election night 2012:

Gail Collins (by far the funniest of the NYTimes columnist)

Thanks to a blog by Eric Ostermeier in Smart Politics, I am able to point out that the only candidate for president who lost his home state by a larger margin than Mitt Romney was John Frémont in 1856. And Frémont was coming out of a campaign in which the opposition accused him of being a cannibal.

David Frum (hard to believe that the Bush administration actually hired someone this smart)

Horrible possibility: if the geeks are right about Ohio, might they also be right about climate?

Jill Biden

Karl Rove is standing in a corner in a dark Fox News studio and muttering "Ohio" over and over to himself.  

Karl Rove

Had a really fun night analyzing each state as the votes came in with a great team at @foxnews 

Megyn Kelly (to Karl Rove, live on Fox News) 

Is this just math you do as a Republican to make you feel better, or is it real? 

Andy Lassner

Breaking: Women cautiously optimistic about retaining control of their vaginas. 

Barack Obama

We want our children to live in an America that isn't burdened by debt, that isn't weakened by inequality, that isn't threatened by the destructive power of a warming planet.

Thank you, Barack, for the command performance, and thank you, Mitt, for bowing out gracefully. 

Published by Kit Stolz

I'm a freelance reporter and writer based in Ventura County.

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